The Panic

After about a year free of Effexor, I had been training really hard for a triathlon and had been working out about twice a day. I started to get these headaches and had some bowel issues. I figured that they were no big deal and kept on swimming, biking, and running.

One Saturday morning, I woke up in an anxious state. I decided to take it easy that day to try and relaz. As the day wore on, the panic set it and I began to feel like I was going to lose it. In a state of panic, I turned to my old friend Effexor. I had kept some tablets from my previous go-round for just this occasion. With no doctors orders and with medication that had been sitting in my pantry for a year, I took a 75mg pill and cut it in half. About two hours after, I felt this bizarre burning sensation that started in my chest and ran through my arms and legs. I had never felt that before. I freaked out. Not in the screaming, crying sort of way, but in the laying in bed miserable kind of way.

On Monday, I went to the doctor and got confirmation that it was Ok to continue with the Effexor. They gave me some starter packs and I stated to take 37.5mg per day. I took these for about 3 days before the side effects started. Sweating, blurred vision, feeling like I was drunk, like I was in someone elses body. A few days later, the thoughts started. The obsessive thoughts about wanting to injure myself and someone else. In fact, I remember being on the train, looking at the person next to me thinking I wanted to punch them in the face. I am a very docile person and have never considered myself depressed, but I feel like the Effexor made me like a zombie. I never had any of these problems when I took it before. I went back to the doctor and was given another starter pack and told to take one every other day and get myself off of this mess.

I don't know about any of these SSRI or SNRI medications. I know people who have taken them with great success, but I have also read many accounts on this here internet of many people who experienced many bad things with them. I will save the withdrawal for my next post, but if you have had any experiences with these medications, and happen to be reading this, I would love to hear about them...